It's been about 9 months since I have been here. It's not the first time I have spent a while away from Blogger and then come back, and every time I do this I feel sort of embarrassed about what I've posted in the past. It's a pretty strange emotion, you read what you've written and you automatically feel like you've become a far more mature person since you wrote those things. I don't know how much that is true, I am definitely still immature in many many ways. Maybe it is just one of those gut reactions, like hearing your own voice on a tape, and you think "I can't believe that's what I sound like". I guess that describes how it feels pretty well to me, I'm not sure how well it translates!
I think my plan for my latest return is to go back to treating this blog as a diary, just something to look back on in the future and think, 'Wow, that was a really interesting thing I did'. I guess I'm a nostalgic person. Also, as embarrassing as it can be looking back at things you've done in the past, or reading what I've written before, it is part of who I am and it's like watching myself grow in some sort of out of body experience. I guess that's a pretty cool ideal, but most ideals are pretty cool, that's where the word comes from.
I've mentioned that I feel like I've grown a lot recently. I do think I'm a constantly changing person, some things bad, some things good. My life at the minute is fine, as it always is. I think it is probably apt to give a more concrete update of what I've done in the last 9 months, rather than just some gibberish about psychological change. I've finished two years at Oxford studying law and am going in to my final year soon. I left Europe for the first time in my life this Easter, travelling to Halifax Nova Scotia. I turned 20 and felt old, then realised I'm probably not old. I played, and am playing a lot of tennis. I spent this summer working in London for a few law firms and have got a contract to work at one of them when I finish my degree, and I met so many great people while working there. I went to New York and fell in love with the place.
At the minute I'm sort of looking forward to getting back to Oxford. I love the security of home, knowing that it's somewhere that I can completely relax and that there's nothing really going to happen that surprises me, but I miss university. I miss the unexpected, and I miss the camaraderie. I want to drink, dance, and wonder whether a girl likes me, or if something will happen, all that shit really. Home is great, but there's something special about being in a place with hundreds of people your age.
I think I've written all I want to write at the minute, I could drag this on or just stop now, so it's best to go.